I Have A Boyfriend But I’m Sexually Attracted To Someone Else, What Should I Do?

I Have A Boyfriend But I’m Sexually Attracted To Someone Else, What Should I Do?

I Know I’m Going To Get A Lot Of Insults From You Guys And That’s Why I Didn’t Use My Original Name For This, But Please Hear Me Out And Give Me Good Advice.

I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t love easily. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love before.

I have dated just one guy and I broke up with him when he tried to rape me.

I’m still a virgin and the reason is that I have trust issues.

I know that if I have sex with a guy I’ll become very attached and my heart can easily be broken.

So I’m waiting for a guy I can trust.

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I recently just started dating someone.

I’m not in love with him, but we’ve been very good friends and when he asked me out I just had to say yes so that I wouldn’t lose him.

I’ve still not had sex with him and I like that he respects my wishes.

My boyfriend loves me and although I don’t love him equally I’ve opened up to him about how difficult it is for me to reciprocate love.

Then there is this other guy I just became friends with. I won’t lie, I’m sexually attracted to this guy.

My sexual attraction to him intensified when he opened up to me about his kinks which are similar to mine.

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He told me he has feelings for me and likes me a lot and can’t get me out of his mind.

I admitted I am sexually attracted to him but that I don’t have feelings for him.

I know he is sexually attracted to me and has made advances at me and even asked for nude pictures all of which I refused. But I still talk to him.

He knows about my boyfriend and is aware of my situation. Occasionally he flirts with me but I try not to flirt back.

I’ve tried to bury my sexual attraction to him, but he is just so physically appealing.

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I’ve made it clear that I want to be just friends, and he seems okay with it.

I know I’m principled enough to not allow him to have sex with me I’m wondering if it’s safe being just friends with him.

I enjoy talking to him and don’t want to end our friendship.

23 Comments

  1. Take your time to find out why you’re sexually attracted to someone else. Find out if your boyfriend doesn’t satisfy you sexually. If you love your boyfriend and vice versa, communicate to him about it and try to find solution what works for the two of you. And most of it all pray to God about the urges you’ve been having, for him to show you the way to subdue your sexual urges with someone else. Thank you

  2. Do not let anyone blackmail you for being a promiscuous young woman. That is the trend and is celebrated by thousands of Erica’s fans across Nigeria. At least, you have your hymen intact and your vagina sealed for
    Commissioning . Many , if not 85% lost theirs to men without purpose and ambition. 1% were deflowered by rapists and 13.999% by healthy cucumbers ,after a thorough self-service exercise got out of control. It is a rare feat to be in the almost non-existent 0.1% class these days.

    If you have ever seen a female dog or goat sex starved then you’ll understand that nature created women to be inordinate sex cravers. A research conducted by my humble self revealed that 96% of women aged 16 -35 are not satisfied with their sexual relationships.

    The only solution to your problem is difficult. I wouldn’t even admonish my sister to take such advice. It is what makes the 21st century lady’s body itch at the sight of a tall bearded man , Italian Fashion, Swiss watch or German Car. The antidote to your misery and indecision is circumcision , otherwise called , Female Genital Mutilation in the Feminists parlance.

    In life you will always find someone aesthetically superior to your current partner . The choice to prove your discipline or indiscipline rests on your shoulders.

  3. Relationship is not all about sex by the thing is that person u love, how are u sure he or she love you back , relationship now are not like before where you get a true friend or love ,so dear if you have someone that is showing you love try and hold it .

  4. I would advice you to stick with the first guy who tends to respect your decisions..it better to have an understanding man who loves you than dating a guy you like and he ends up not liking you..I wish you the best just stick to the first guy I believe you will start liking him soon and if that doesn’t happen you have to leave him but you see the other guy you said u r sexually attracted to it better you leave him to avoid any embarrassment

  5. Damnnnnn nigga
    Confused beings
    This is why they keep on cheating
    Because they can’t get all the qualities in one nigga.
    Loadedmore is sexually attractive….
    But i love Kevin….
    Very confused people…

    From your story, I know the second guy is hot, financial stable and has a nice ride and lovely apartment, that’s why your body is doing you kpish kpish. You are lusting over the nigga and he will soon pop your cherry. Anyway it’s not my business who you are lusting over because that is how an average Nigerian lady react when they see a well to do guy that is a more better option than their boyfriend.
    But that wont be fair to your poor boyfriend, the young man deserve better because you ain’t loyal, even in marriage your nipples will grow harder for the next mr charmer. So breakup with him today and embrace your new fantasy.

  6. You see nowadays it’s difficult to find true love..But you have to work hard and find the real one,If is true that your boyfriend truly love you then you have you go with him because is not easy to find such a man nowadays…Out of 100% man nowadays am assuring you that 80% of them is cheating out there…so for your husband to loved you, you just have to be with him no matter situation you both find yourself.

    And then the guy you just met and you said yes so you won’t lose him maybe he comes to disvirging you and later dump you.And then you accepted him as your friend that might even leads to both of you later having sex together because sometimes you fall in love for a guy who you called your friends…You may be the one to later fall in love to him for one or two reasons.
    1. Maybe he’s more caring than your boyfriend
    2.Maybe he’s rich than your boyfriend

    So I will advice you to follow up with your boyfriend that love you truly even though you don’t loved him as much, maybe the other guy comes to your life to have a benefit in you.

  7. The first thing you should do is to basically examine both of them, I mean your boyfriend and the other guy, and find out what you can do to stop that thought of yours. Note, if you don’t love your boyfriend again, you can actually be flirting with that second guy but based on a condition that is, therefore you are comfortable with it.
    The fact of it is that, never try to flirt with the guy if you are still with your boyfriend because it’s dangerous and your boyfriend can get to know about it.
    Another hand, to stop the feelings, you must earse every thought of the guy from your mind, give him communication gap, block his number for a while and get attached to your boyfriend.
    The decision is your though, stay bless.

  8. Hmm🌚
    This is actually no big deal
    Most girls pass through this alot.
    The thing is thing is that , You being sexually attracted to someone other guy when you have a boyfriend can cause a crash in your relationship when you BF finally find out.
    I will advice you to bid off that idea from your mind and distance yourself from him.
    The fact that you both like each other flirt doesn’t mean your gonna have a happy ending.
    Babe , you don’t even have a feeling for this guy huh! So what is the point!
    Don’t give yourself out cheaply.
    Take your mind off him I would advice you to resist the temptation and ask from your partner to refresh your relationship if he doesn’t he will lose you.

  9. Good morning Sir, I’m Adetayo Fausat Felicia…….here are my comment and word of encouragement below👇👇👇👇

    First and Foremost, this as common among ladies of nowadays, because they don’t care of anything that will happen all they want is a guy with good money and they don’t care of having sexual intercourse with them,…. And what almost cause this is that, as a Man you have to be taking all proper care about your girlfriend/fiancee so she won’t look outside for any other shit guys,, because so many guys and man of nowadays after them getting married and get some good job they don’t really care about their wife, and they supposed to do, because woman needs to be taken care all time, so they won’t be sexual attracted, by someone else…..

    Furthermore, as a man you have to look after our wife not by frustrating them, because woman are so fragile,,…

    “”””””Because staying far away from them can also cause this, so, distance always matter most in a relationship too,

    And for a woman having a boyfriend and got sexually attracted to someone else,that’s a bad thing, you have to let your boyfriend/Fiancee/Husband aware of anything you need from him even if he have it or not, and anytime you are feeling or getting horny it’s a thing you can call him, not to take an advantage of someone near to you, which is bad……..

    …..So what you can do is to stay close to him if probably he’s far away from you as a woman, and also telling him all your mind, because you might need to get sex sometimes but when your boyfriend/husband/fiancee is not near you could do anything as a woman and always appreciate the beauty of your boyfriend so you won’t be sexually attracted to someone else,,.. for you doing all this I mentioned you will have a good and happy home…….

    So my Advice for all men is..!!!!!!..(You have to know the time your woman want or need you,and time to take care of them is very important…….so they won’t be sexually attracted to someone else,…….. Thank you

  10. Let’s start this way:
    1. You must find a way of communicating with your BF and work things out with him. He has a true feelings for you. My sister do not loose that guy ‘cos he is the right man out of the two guy chasing you.
    2. Desist from the guy who you are sexually attracted to ‘cos he only wants to sex you and he going to spoil your self esteem, break your heart,leave you shattered eventually for another girl. My sister if you will hear the truth run away from the devil. That guy is a scam!!!!!!!!!.
    3. Your boyfriend loves you and you can’t reciprocate it. He loves and respect your opinion. But you sexually attracted to someone else. You need to pray to God on your urge ( so you can continue to keep your virginity). Then be patient enough to choose a good and better life partner following the right instructions and guidelines.
    God loves you more my sister!!!!!!!!

  11. It quite a pity for all teens not just only you to have this intense sexual urges during their prime of youth unsatisfied till you get married.

    My dear, I appreciate your sincerity, courage and transparency for coming out to the public seeking help. Kudos to you.

    Now, No matter who you’re sexually attracted to,
    They will be sorrowful consequences if you succumb to the urge. Here are the 3 sorrowful consequences highlighted.

    1. DISTRESS. Most youths who have engaged in premarital sex say that they regretted it afterward.

    2. DISTRUST. After having sex, each partner begins to wonder, ‘Who else has he/​she had sex with?’

    3. DISILLUSIONMENT. Deep down, you would prefer someone who will protect you not use you. And many boys find that they are less attracted to a girl who has given in to their advances.

    Your body is far too valuable to give away. Show that you have the strength of character to obey God’s command to abstain from fornication. Then, if you do marry one day, you can have sex. And you’ll be able to enjoy it fully, without the worries, regrets, and insecurities that are so often the aftermath of premarital sex.

    Stay pure and decent.. Love you girl

  12. 🙂 Yes of course. We are all human and its normal to be attracted and have fantasies on others. It would be nice and very good thing to not hide in a relationship and be open about your feelings. I once dated a beautiful woman and she was never jealous so when i saw a nice girl i said she was nice and when there was a nice guy i did same. we where very open to each other. Until one time she was hiding to go on a kind of date. That is bad. If you love your current boyfriend but attracted to others it may be that the grass is always greener on the other side. Make sure you don’t cheat on your boyfriend. Its nice to be open and tell him and finish it other than cheating. Maybe if your boyfriend loves you and sees that you where truthful and honest about it will give you a one time pass :)) Goodluck

  13. Sisi mi, that guy is playing u, he’s an expert. IG he truly loves u , he won’t be asking for ur nudes for the main time u just met.
    His charm has gotten u already.
    Normal norma, there’s nothing bad to Bleep yourselves since u both want it but u said u are a virgin, I won’t advice u to break ur virginity with someone u don’t trust or that doesn’t truly love u

  14. Smile,sometimes we do think we love while it wasn’t love. Love comes without a reason. To be sexually attracted to an opposite sex while you have your boo or bae, definitely something is wrong somewhere. You can sit and check your love life sincerely. It may seems it love from the start when you and your so-called boyfriend start which is not. The love you have for each other has to be genuine. Just think and observe what really entice you to the other guy that comes with sexual attraction. If you really find it difficult to put a stop to the attraction,the sincere solution is to put an end to the relationship,cause it will be very difficult to put amend when you guys eventually got married. Start afresh and observe what you really need in a relationship. And you will really enjoy the love that comes from it. And it’s a blessing you are still a virgin. You just have to determine and discover what you really want in a guy that has to be the father of your children!! I called you blessed

  15. Trust me, I’ve been in this kind of situation before and I know exactly how it feels. What you feel for the other guy is lust and trust me, it happens… There is always some other guy that is hotter than your boyfriend and it takes discipline and strong will not to fall head over heels for that person. So, I’ll just tell you to follow who you have feelings for and not who you are lusting for because it is better for a girl to date who loves her than to date who she loves

  16. Being in a committed, healthy relationship can be great, but it can also come with some hurdles you have to overcome. We’re human, and it’s highly likely we’re going find other people attractive, people that aren’t our partner. I guess it’s how we deal with that attraction or crush that’s important….

    • Babawaleopeyemi16@gmail.Com
      Firstly I will say nothing is new under this heaven
      And this kind of matter doesn’t require any much advice but I will just advise you to hold that your boyfriend very tight because for a guy to love love a girl mostly and respect all her wishes it’s very rare, in some relationships that experience this kind of love finds everything easy for them because the husband will be very easy and flexible to approach.
      For someone to love or hate something their will always be something that aids to that feelings , so i think u should observe very well what makes you not to reciprocate the love back ,it may be his attitude,financially poor and some other things if u can observe very well definitely you will find out and tell the guy with your cooperation something will change and u will start loving him as he does.
      Concerning the mr big dick or what ever u see as a good charisma tha makes you to get attracted to him sexually…my dear sister I will tell you if you love a man because of sex, there’s a very big problem ahead of you, You said he’s requesting for your nude pictures definitely that’s how he will be doing to some other girls which will not be revealed to you,my dear sister the guy has nothing to do with only he use you for sex and brake your heart ,
      With all this words I think u should know the better option for you, I pray May God help u and make the right decision for your self.

  17. Firstly I will say nothing is new under this heaven
    And this kind of matter doesn’t require any much advice but I will just advise you to hold that your boyfriend very tight because for a guy to love love a girl mostly and respect all her wishes it’s very rare, in some relationships that experience this kind of love finds everything easy for them because the husband will be very easy and flexible to approach.
    For someone to love or hate something their will always be something that aids to that feelings , so i think u should observe very well what makes you not to reciprocate the love back ,it may be his attitude,financially poor and some other things if u can observe very well definitely you will find out and tell the guy with your cooperation something will change and u will start loving him as he does.
    Concerning the mr big dick or what ever u see as a good charisma tha makes you to get attracted to him sexually…my dear sister I will tell you if you love a man because of sex, there’s a very big problem ahead of you, You said he’s requesting for your nude pictures definitely that’s how he will be doing to some other girls which will not be revealed to you,my dear sister the guy has nothing to do with only he use you for sex and brake your heart ,
    With all this words I think u should know the better option for you, I pray May God help u and make the right decision for your self.

  18. Ure sexually attracted to a guy!! Its a normal thing It may be because of his physical stature or he is rich u dnt have to go for him cuz u will later regret it. That is lust not love. The guy himself may claim to love you just because he finds out Ure sexually attracted to him he will use u nd dump u nd u will lose at both ends because your boyfriend may finds out and he will be disappointed in you.. Although u may not love him but he loves you its rare to find such a guy nowadays stay close with him nd spend moments together you will develop that feelings one day and you guys will enjoy your relationship rather than giving out urself out cheaply to a guy
    My Advice to you is that you should avoid any close relationship between you nd d guy even as friends block his contact if possible nd try nd lastly pray to God to help u erase him from your mind. I wish u the best in ur decision

  19. Personally, I don’t encourage premarital sex as its not Godly but I’ve come to discover that people don’t love those that genuinely love them. They have this acumen of thought that, the person lashing out the genuine love might be too protective or jealous over them so they try not to reciprocate the love. But believe you I, there’s a difference between Love and Lust. Its crystal clear your boyfriend loves you and doesn’t even think of sex or bother (which is honourable on his part and matured) but this other guy doesn’t love you but is lusting after you and after he gets what he’s looking for, trust me, he will see you as cheap, spoilt and trashy. All of these feelings are natural but try to put them aside in the name of Jesus. The Bible said in James 4:7, “submitting ourselves to God, resist the devil and he shall flee from you”. So, resist those feelings and keep your boyfriend and its grow into marriage.

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